AsumaKurenai: We did WHAT!
by The Ruptured Cowboy
Summary: Written for naruto flasfic over at LiveJournal.  Unbeta'd.  Busted out after the deadline had gone out.  ConCrit is always appreciated!


Oh, _hell_ no. Kurenai's bizarrely-coloured eyes with their equally queer double iris closed in pained embarrassment. Beside her prone body lay a snoring figure that reeked of cigarette smoke - or maybe that was just the room itself. As she felt an unfamiliar pounding in her head,Kurenai wondered what on earth had possessed her to actually consume that amount of alcohol. A low moan escaped her lips in her moment of self-pity. Stupid girl! Stupid, stupid, _stupid! _And who on _earth_ was she next to?!

As if on cue, the man - the very _naked_ man, she suddenly realised in mortification - snorted and rolled over, snuggling close to her, one arm draping over her hips. Oh, _hell no! _Asuma?! Kurenai felt her face turn as red as her namesake. This was something she'd _never_ live down. Although, now that she thought about it, it could have been much worse. Kakashi, for instance (that dirty little pervert!). Or - so much worse she nearly gagged even thinking about it - _Jiraiya_ could have been in town. She had no doubt that the Legendary Pervert would have found out about her little promotion celebrations (at which she had absolutely not intended to drink at all, let alone enough to wind up in Asuma's bed naked, _thankyouverymuch!_) and tried out his 'charms' on her. Oh, yuck.

Asuma snorted again, limbs quivering in resonance with whatever he was dreaming about. His hand crept upwards, leaving a trail of goosebumps to where it finally rested just under her breast. Kurenai held her breath, body tense. Damn it. She was never going to get out of this without waking him - _not with this hangover! _- she knew it. Whimpering slightly in embarrassment, the freshly-made jounin tried to gently move Asuma's overly-familiar hand to a more acceptable position. He muttered something in his sleep, pouting and snuggling his bearded face into her shoulder and neck. Oh, damn, that _tickled! _Kurenai resisted the overpowering urge to giggle at the sensation, concentrating on the discomfort her head was causing her instead. How was she going to get out of this? Asuma's hand crept back up again and she sighed.

"Asuma. Wake up," she commanded, then winced at the raspy, hoarse quality of her normally throaty voice. Shit! The connotations that lit up in her mind weren't anything she wanted to think about. Hastily she prayed that Asuma's walls were soundproof. Clearing her throat painfully, she tried once more. "Asuma. _Wake up._"

He moaned petulantly, apparently trying to burrow his head -_ and that damnably tickly beard! _- in through her skin. "Five more min'tes...jus' five more min'tes..." Asuma muttered, clearly not with the waking world. Kurenai's eyebrows snapped near-together until her headache protested the movement. Holding a hand to her throbbing temple, she prodded Asuma's lingering arm sharply with a digit of the other. "Owwww! Wha's goin' on? Whassa matter?" he mumbled, recoiling slightly from her attack. Unfortunately his hand was still firmly attached to her torso, and rolledKurenai towards him. She glared at his slowly-opening eyes. "Mmm? Wha- _Kurenai?!?_" Suddenly he was completely conscious and sitting bolt upright. Despite herself, Kurenai winced in sympathy as the sudden movement caused him to pale into a highly unflattering greenish shade. "Oh, God. Somebody kill me and make the hurting stop," he pleaded. Kurenai snorted.

"Gladly," she said, in as icy a tone as possible with a throat raw from...well, who knows what. Hopefully not the neighbours. "I hope there's an explanation with this that doesn't involve committing unspeakable acts," she added, frowning at him. Asuma ignored her in favour of cradling his head. Kurenai hissed in impatience. "Oh, stop being such a baby. And go and get me some water."

Asuma glared at her pitifully. "You do realise that me getting out of bed means I have to climb out _over you_, right?" he rasped. Kurenai blinked; that hadn't occurred to her at all! Damn. Double damn. She pursed her lips as she considered this problem, absently smacking her erstwhile lover's hand away as it just as absently made its way to her hip. Prodding him in the arm again, she pointed in the general direction of his bedroom door.

"Apparently you've already been climbing on me. Once more for a good cause won't hurt." Pausing, Kurenai eyed his manly bits with raised eyebrow. "And put some pants on while you're at it." Muttering about 'lippy women' and something along the lines of 'I hate being ordered around in my own house!', Asuma clumsily complied, his balance obviously still shot from the impressive way he swayed once both feet were relatively firmly on the floor. Finding the pants came first, apparently, andKurenai tried very hard not to ogle his naked body - hungover or otherwise, unshaven or clean, Asuma was still pretty damn well-off in the looks department. With a frown,Kurenai realised that she couldn't spot her own garments anywhere on his bare floor. Where the hell could it be? Damn, this meant she'd be naked for longer. Oh, well. At least Asuma was sensible enough to own a decent duvet (even if it did smell like his cigarettes. Did he smoke in _bed?_)

After a few minutes he returned with two glasses of water, and - she nearly died when she saw this - a lit cigarette hanging out of his mouth. "I dunno where your clothes are," he muttered, coughing a bit as he handed one glass to her. "Here." Kurenai thanked him absently, obscurely disappointed that he'd managed to find a reasonably clean singlet as well as some boxers. He clambered back over her with slightly more grace, wiggling under the covers and cracking his bedside window open to let some of the smoke escape. Kurenai sat up, carefully arranging the duvet to cover herself as she sipped gratefully at the slightly metallic-tasting liquid. They sat together in a vaguely awkward silence for a while, before Asuma spoke up again. "Sooo...what are we doing about this?" he asked hesitantly.

Kurenai closed her eyes briefly. While Asuma was a nice guy, and cute, and funny, and all that good stuff, she wasn't really in the mood for a relationship right now. Particularly one based on a very, very drunken one-night-stand. Also, the rest of their mutual friends would never let them live it down. "We deny everything," she decided finally. "I'm not sure I could surviveKakashi's smug comments. Or Gai's...anything." Beside her, Asuma shuddered.

"Okay. Deny everything it is," he agreed softly, staring out the window. Kurenai watched him for a few moments as she finished her water, idly wondering what he was wondering. Then she mentally shook her head. This was all too much for a morning - or was it afternoon already? - with such a bad hangover. Regardless of time, she felt...tired, still. Bordering on drained (oh dear, what _had_ they been doing last night?!). The glass was set down carefully beside the bed; Kurenai hesitated for a moment, then snuggled back under the duvet. Sleep was paramount at the moment, surely Asuma could understand that. Her eyes closed and her brain shut down not long after, leaving her snoring daintily, dark hair spread across the pin-striped blue pillowcase.

Asuma absently doused his cigarette in the remains of his drink, stowing the glass on the windowsill. A careful (albeit still slightly shaky) finger swept back a stray lock of hair from where it was tickling her nose. As he lay down, the kunoichi shifted closer, turning to cling gently to him. With a small smile, Asuma carefully arranged her in his arms, tucking her head under his chin, and drifted off to sleep himself.


End file.
